Well, Would Ya Look at That…

It seems the coconut doesn’t fall too far from the tree.  Not that my sister actually fell from my tree, but you know what I mean.  Anyway, here is a preview of the upcoming anthology, “From Their Cradle to Your Grave.”  My sister Dana Priebe has a short in here called “Afterbirth” and let me tell ya, it’s a doozy.

Sweet, huh?  Should be out by the end of this month from Cruentus Libri Press.

Now, I’m off to work.  Stop bothering me.

-Kim

Zombie Love Boat, Shiny and New

So, it’s been a while since I blogged, because that’s how I roll–tardy.  Oh well.  I was on “vacation” recently so that is my excuse for not blogging in the past week.  Don’t ask about the month or so before that.

Anyhoo, I’m here to post some exciting updates…

1.  My story about killer wasps “It Sticks With You,” recently got accepted into Crooked Cat’s charity antho “Fear” due out some time around All Hallows’ Eve.  Fantastic.  Proceeds go to Doctors Without Borders and Barnardo’s (aiding at-risk children in the UK)

2.  My zombie bacon and longpork, AKA zombie cannibalism, story entitled “The Smokehouse” was chosen for Knightwatch Press’ up-coming anthology.  The book will also contain a modified version of my pulled pork recipe.  You can guess what kind of meat it calls for.  Hope you have a big crock pot. 🙂

This book is sponsored by the Zombie Fiend website.  It’s an active forum for lovers of all things zombie.  If you enjoy discussing weapon choices for the zombie apocalypse, or if you are planting a killer veggie garden for the end times and need a little advise, swing on over.  The folks there would love to have you (for dinner).  Just a little cheesy cannibalism humor, there.  Everything tastes better with cheese.  Sorry.

By the way, this is the one I get a t-shirt for.  Score!

3.  Winter is coming.  So is fall.  Soon the little chicks in my roost will fly off to school and maybe, just maybe, I’ll blog more frequently.

4.  We all know that is a bold-faced lie.

Thanks for stopping in.  Come back real soon, will ya?

-Kim

Procrastination: Writing Excuses 101

1. My dog ate my computer.


Oh, wait.  I don’t have a dog.  But if I did, I’d want this one.  At least he’d only eat my maple bacon and cat treats.

2. I just need to jump on Facebook/Twitter and/or check my email (for the next 2 hours).

3. I’m not sure what to do with this scene/I’m waiting for the characters to tell me what happens next/I’m waiting for an epiphany in the form of a blow to the head or a lightning strike.  How about a kick in the ass?

4. I need to wash my hair.

5. I need to wash the dishes (I know I’m grasping at straws when I use this one).

6. I’m just not in the zombie/cannibal/demon/vampire/insert anything writing mood.  Maybe I will be tomorrow.  Actually, if I sit down and start, I’ll get in the writing mood.  That’s how it works, and I know this.

7. I just need to watch a few videos on You Tube to get inspired first (six hours later…).

8. Another project takes precedence (and so I work on neither one).

9. I have to write a blog today.  Therefore, I can’t work on my current project.  Add any of the aforementioned excuses to this one to find out why the blog doesn’t get written either.

10. I’m exhausted from being the Games Master at Bible camp all week. And, no, they aren’t Hunger Games.

11.  I find it impossible to concentrate with 3 kids running around and asking for snacks/toys/or, as is the case right this second “Mom, where are my arms?” because they are pulled into the small kid’s sleeves.  These interruptions occur approximately five billion times a day during summer break.  I need a break from summer break.

12.  This nervous twitch in my eyelid whenever I stare at the computer for any length of time is stopping me from writing.  I mean really, what the heck?  It’s been like five days!  Maybe I should write a short about a killer nervous twitch.

And now for a quick pep talk to inspire me to get some writing done tonight…

Come on, you lazy puke–you’re not tired!  Eye twitches are kinda fun anyway!  You hate dishes, and besides the dishwasher is running right now.

Put those kids to bed and write, damn it!

Or maybe fall asleep on the couch watching a chick flick…It might generate some great ideas…

Movies You Can’t Stop Watching or The Mommy Dearest Syndrome

Today I want to talk about something that I like to call The Mommy Dearest Syndrome.  You know what I mean.  We all have that movie (or five) that, if we happen to flip through and land on it accidentally, we can’t stop watching.

I have a few movies like this, the big gold medal winner being “Mommy Dearest.”  Call me crazy.  Now, I can’t say exactly what it is about this film… Is the acting so high-caliber that it sucks me in like a black hole?  No.  Do I have an unbridled obsession with Joan Crawford?  No, again.  Do I beat my kids with wire hangers for using said wire hangers, and the movie somehow validates my poor parenting choices?  Not at all.  Although I do like to scream “No wire hangers EVER!” at random and inappropriate times.  Who doesn’t?

But I could turn on the TV to check the weather before going out for a root canal and if Mommy Dearest happened to be sucking back G and Ts and introducing strange men to her kids as “Uncle” So and So, I’m in trouble.  Yeah, I’m making that call and canceling my appointment.  I’m eating the fifty dollar late cancellation fee.  I’m sucking back G and Ts to dull the throbbing pain of my abcessed tooth.  All during the commercial break, mind you, because the only channels that run “Mommy Dearest” are the ones with frequent and excessive commercial breaks and I don’t want to miss a second of it.  I’m already suffering from an inexplicable depression for coming in when my movie is half over.  Or maybe because there is still half to go.  I can’t say, really.  I’m getting that nauseous feeling just thinking about watching it now.

That’s okay.  I’ll take the multiple advertisement opportunities to thaw out a steak for dinner or check the kids closets.

By the way, I love the steak part.  I think about it every time I make my kids finish their dinner.  I thought about it a lot yesterday when my youngest’s granola bar he pestered me for (no, not pestered, he rode me like a trick pony until I finally got off my butt and gave it to him, and all five minutes after a dinner he barely ate because he was “tooooooo fullllll”) was sitting on the table overnight because, when he became “tooooooo fullllll” to finish that, I was like, “Oh, you’re full of something, alright” and I left it on the table for a pre-breakfast snack the next day.

That was a long sentence.  My apologies.  My point is, I am totally picking up what Joan is dropping in that scene.

And, just like Joan, I threw the damn thing out about twenty-four hours later when, beaten down, I simply gave up.

Frankly, I think she got a bad rap.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll make the children address me as Mommy Dearest for the day, just to try it on for size.

Another movie that I can’t turn away from is “Ghosts of Mars.”  Yeah, yeah, laugh if you will–I finally made my husband watch this one and he was all, “that wasn’t scary at all!”  But, in my defense, there is something chilling about people being overcome by some nasty entity that makes them psycho killers and causes them to stick barbs through their faces without even wincing.  It could happen to anyone!  Ooh!  That just reminded me of the movie “Fallen,” which is another one I can’t pass up when it’s on.  Fantastic flick.

Also, along a similar vein of gut-grabbing creepy is “28 Days Later” which I could watch over and over and over and still be pants-peeingly scared.

And finally, “The Departed.”  No need for explanation.  Okay, I will anyway.  Leo.

Warning: This video has many F bombs and one Indian in the Cupboard.

So, lay it on me.  I’m really curious to hear what flicks other folks can’t flip off.  Comment.  Comment now.  Ready, set, go.

Bronies: For the Love of Ponies

Well, the print book is now available. In fact, I have my author’s copy on my bookshelf (just to see how it looks with my other books ;)). Of course, I won’t leave it there long because I am so excited to read this puppy. Here is a link to Kazka Press’ website where they can take direct orders for the book. The publisher is working on final formatting for the e-book as I type, so I’ll keep you posted on that.  Get it?  Posted?

These aren’t your sister’s ponies.

Kazka also has the table of contents up and links to read three of the stories in the book. Try one out just to see what the hell all of this Brony business is about. These stories ooze speculative fiction and are just plain fun, or eerie, or both.

I let my nine-year old read “Ponies” by Kij Johnson and asked what she thought.

“It was great!” She said.

“Great like it made you feel happy and shiny inside?”

“No. Definitely not that kind of great.”

[Disclaimer:  This is not a children’s book, but I had previewed “Ponies” and deemed it acceptable for my little “Goosebumps” fan.  Some tales may contain the occasional vulgarity].

And it’s not that kind of great. It’s the great of that first real breath after you just got the wind slammed out of you.

It’s the great of watching a bunch of annoying children slug a baseball bat into a piñata and having a load of beetles spill out into their greedy, grasping hands.

It’s the great of seeing a beautiful mushroom cloud explode and expand against a blood-red sunset, complete with irradiated marshmallows on a stick and the coolest shades you’ve ever owned.

So go grab a sample. Take a bite out of that marshmallow and taste for yourself how disconcertingly delicious it can be.

Bronies:  Damn straight these aren’t your sister’s ponies.